thumping the tub
Tub-Thumper - 1. A speaker or preacher who for emphasis thumps the pulpit; a violent or declamatory preacher or orator; a ranter. (from This blog will be a combination of reasoned posting somedays and an occasional rant.
Thursday, November 30, 2006
There are so many articles and guides to cut your carbon emissions and environmental impact at home and with your car and so on. Most of what they say is intuitive anyway (switch lights off, don't leave things on standby etc).

I got to thinking, what about the people who already do most of those things? What more can we do if we don't have the money to completely refit our homes like many of the guides suggest?

So here it is, another 10 point plan...

1. Stand next to people eating fruit out of season and shout "he's got no testicles" very loudly (or "she's got no vag" depending on the situation). If it amuses you more then deliberately get confused on the genders.

2. Perform a citizens arrest on people flying short haul.

3. Find people who leave their lights on to deter burglars and steal goods from their homes to make up for the cost to repair the carbon emissions this produces. Leave a note to say that this is why you have done it.

4. Throw mud in the windscreens of SUVs and jump about in animal costumes in front of them and invite them to hunt you. This should stop them going anywhere. You can claim that you are just trying to give them the rugged feel that their choice of vehicle suggest they are lacking. Don't worry if one of them takes you up on the hunting offer. The likelihood is that if one them attempts to shoot you he will probably just accidentally shoot his friend in the face.

5. If a major energy company starts to talk about clean energy issues, write them a letter saying you understand fully what they are trying to achieve. Enclose a plastic shit with a sugar coating to prove it.

6. Agree vociferously with the next person that talks to you about motorists rights, then go into their home and start chain smoking. To prove how much you agree the point with them you could even do this in their childs bedroom.

7. If you see anyone using an unnecessary amount of plastic bags in the supermarket then you could help them pack and remove all the unnecessary things they are buying so that they are only left with what they need. This will reduce the number of plastic bags needed.

8. If you notice anyone who was heated towel rails, abuse them and call them every name you can think of.... I mean.. what is the f*cking point?

9. Don't leave your TV on standby. Turn it off. In fact, sell it, burn it or hollow it out and use it as a plant pot. All of these options are preferable to tuning in to the innumberable channels of bile, nonsense and propaganda.

10. Get your friend to kick you in the head 5 times. If you wake up then you can explain to confused onlookers that he would have kicked you in the head 6 times but that this is a hybrid friend and therefore he does a bit less damage.

And on a serious note, if you have never read any of these guides before then here is one of the obvious ones...

10 tips for sustainable living at home

The picture is how most people in the wests carbon emissions work out
posted by michael the tubthumper @ 3:11 pm  
  • At 4:27 pm, Blogger JOS said…


  • At 4:50 pm, Blogger michael the tubthumper said…

    thanks jos

  • At 5:54 pm, Blogger Keir said…

    Great post. Nice to see you back in good form.

    I have another suggestion, dunno if it would cut carbon emissions, but maybe it would be a good idea anyway to start regularly bringing unrecyclable packaging material back to the place of purchase, in bulk, strewn in front of the entrance, just before it opens.

  • At 5:58 pm, Blogger Paul Tomba said…

    Nice one! Good to see you back blogging.

  • At 6:00 pm, Blogger Paul Tomba said…

    Keir it's funny you should say that, there was an article in the Guardian about a similar idea.,,1948065,00.html

  • At 7:29 pm, Blogger pissed off patricia said…

    Let's just invite the hummer drivers to join the military so they can drive the real thing.

  • At 2:54 am, Blogger Peacechick Mary said…

    Great thumping here. But what if I'm already doing those - at least on a random basis? Nah. Just kidding. Well done.

  • At 6:58 am, Blogger GraemeAnfinson said…

    When I was in Berlin, the hotel key-card had to be placed into a slot in the wall to make the electricity turn on in the room. I imagine a lot of people leave the AC and other stuff on while they are out. I thought this was a good idea.

  • At 8:19 am, Blogger sumo said…

    Mister glad to see you up and about...was getting worried about ya! You are back in your usual interesting form...always making us think. Good on you! Ideas great too!

Post a Comment
<< Home
U.S. MONETARY Cost of the War in Iraq - other people are spending too, and the human cost is much higher
(JavaScript Error)
What is Tubthumping and who is doing it?

Name: michael the tubthumper
Home: Glasgow, Scotland
About Me: Tub-Thumper - 1. A speaker or preacher who for emphasis thumps the pulpit; a violent or declamatory preacher or orator; a ranter. This blog will be a combination of reasoned posting somedays and an occasional rant. 28 years old, I write and research for a couple of websites and also do my own stuff.
See my complete profile

Thumping The Tub Video

Image Hosted by

I have made a few short movies. Here are links to free downloads for them all in the order that I made them (as far as I can remember). Please feel free to use, distribute, disagree with, shout at etc etc

  • Praise The Lord and Pass The Ammunition
  • This was a REAL song from World War 2. I was so stunned by it I had to make a movie

  • How Far Is It From Here to Nuremberg
  • This is my attempt at a video for the excellent, if worrying, David Rovics (see links) song

  • What You Like
  • I believe the word for this is "splenetic". Only 20 seconds long.

  • Imperial Measures
  • What is going on in Iraq? Some things you knew, some you didn't. A couple of bits of info are out of date now.

  • Wish You Were Here
  • Wish You Were Here is a 6 minute film about the unprecendted rate of animal extinction we are currently experiencing

  • Gorillas and us
  • I don't like creationism, neither did Douglas Adams

    Recent Thumping
    Older Thumping

  • spinwatch
  • adbusters
  • internet archive
  • art not oil
  • blairwatch
  • bushflash
  • camcorder guerillas
  • corporate watch
  • campaign for press freedom
  • noam chomsky
  • common dreams
  • counterpunch
  • cost of war
  • david rovics
  • democracy now
  • dissident voice
  • the dossier
  • downing street says
  • etims
  • robert fisk
  • food not bombs
  • global research
  • gmwatch
  • impeach blair
  • indybay video
  • killing hope
  • lobbywatch
  • mediachannel
  • medialens
  • mickey z
  • mixed up records
  • george monbiot
  • mark thomas
  • john pilger
  • radio 4 all
  • schnews
  • snow shoe films
  • sourcewatch
  • tom englehardt
  • ukwatch
  • video activist network
  • howard zinn
  • Image Hosted by

    some of the blogs I look at
    Arse of the month

    Image Hosted by

    The inaugural 'Arse of the month' award goes to our very own Scottish First Minister Jack (Joke) McConnell. He seems to spend a lot of his time sucking up to english politicians and yet it appears they don't even know his name. Follow the link to see..

    It's All Gone Scottish

    Image Hosted by

    A list of some other Scottish sites and blogs most of which, if not all, are pro-independence. I don't agree with content on all of them obviously. Some are Scots at home, others abroad.

  • The Scottish Patient
  • Kim Ayres
  • Our Scotland
  • average tosser
  • 1820
  • big stick small carrot
  • J. Arthur MacNumpty
  • World of Jack McConnell
  • The Firefox Chronicles
  • Independence 1st
  • Radio Free Scotland
  • Scots and independent
  • Scottish Independence Guide
  • Small Nation
  • Inveresk Street Ingrate
  • Radical Glasgow
  • Want to Swot?

    Image Hosted by

    If you like this site and think it is time to start getting informed here are a few real favourites of mine that will help you blow away the corporate and government propaganda you are constantly bombarded with. It is added to every so often.

  • politics and the english language
  • Beyond Hope
  • the gore exception
  • your tax dollars at work
  • a cultural chernobyl
  • choose life (not trainspotting)
  • shooting an elephant
  • a war crime within a war crime...
  • the menace of liberal scholarship
  • the modern era of law
  • naming the problem
  • the four ages of sand
  • a news revolution has begun
  • come september
  • money is the cause of poverty
  • countering corporate power
  • Other Stuff

    Who links to me?

    For a DotSCOT Domain!

    Fight Spam! Click Here! Blunt Cogs Image Hosted by Image Hosted by Politics Blog Top Sites Scottish Blogs Blogdust Find Blogs in the Blog Directory Top 100 Scottish Websites
    Free Guestmap from Free Guestmap from


    Get awesome blog templates like this one from website statistics