thumping the tub
Tub-Thumper - 1. A speaker or preacher who for emphasis thumps the pulpit; a violent or declamatory preacher or orator; a ranter. (from oed.com). This blog will be a combination of reasoned posting somedays and an occasional rant.
Saturday, October 29, 2005
POLITICIAN SPEAK TRANSLATED - PART 1
Pre-emptive Strike - this is the new term for attacking people who haven't touched you yet. To put it in a more social setting it is equivalent to going up to a man in the pub and punching him just in case he happens to spill your pint later on.

Preventive War - This means denying everyone but yourself and your friends the chance to even buy a pint.

Liar/Lying - In the bizarre politics of the early 21st century one of the strangest manifestations in the language is that the one thing that the politicians are trying to outdo each other in is the one thing they aren't allowed to call each other or accuse each other of (in the UK parliament).

Convention rules that even words such as "untruth" are frowned upon. Due to this some rather strange language has grown up around the subject. Lying has come to be known by such terms as "being economical with the truth", "putting an interpretation on events that was at significant variance with the facts", "terminological inexactitude" (Winston Churchill) or even "making a press statement".

"I'm glad you asked me that." - that was the one question I hoped you wouldn't ask me.

Hearts And Minds - These days we are often told that the battle for "hearts and minds" is more important than the physical battle with weapons. This seems a little confusing - presumably the western armies are hoping to pick up the pieces of these hearts and minds from the towns and villages where they have blown them up? Any other explanation seems unlikely, as it is difficult to convince people of your good intentions when you are bombing them.

Or perhaps it relates to what Chuck Colson, former aide to Richard Nixon said .."When you've got them by the balls their hearts and minds will follow".

European Partners - European Enemies

A Constructive Discussion - this means nothing at all. The phrase "a constructive discussion" is only used in circumstances where no agreement of any sort has been reached. We know this because if a solution is reached, even if its during a conference about the width of traffic cones then it is still called "an historic agreement"

We Will See How The Situation Develops - we do not have the time, the money, or the inclination to do anything about this at the moment.

An Historic Agreement - See entry for "A Constructive Discussion"

Collateral Damage - this means no more or less than dead people. This phrase released many politicians and military people from potentially difficult situations in that it is much easier to say "the operation was a success although we did sustain a small amount of collateral damage" than to say "we bulldozed our way through a civilian area and though we killed a few camel-f*ckers, we did get what we went in there for"

Weapons of Mass Destruction - do you remember doing French at school? This phrase only applies to "they" not "we" or "I". It's like an irregular verb -
- They have weapons of mass destruction
- You are either with us or against us and
- We have strong defensive capabilities,
or if you prefer "we shall defend our island whatever the cost may be"

Strong Government - ignoring everybody else. Thereby when the country doesn't want to go to war and you do you can say you are not being bloody minded or a warmonger - it is in fact "strong government".

We Are Putting The Matter To Consultation - This can mean one of 3 things, 1 = We are hoping everyone will forget this unpopular measure we are proposing and then we can bring it back when the media is concentrating on something else and try and slip it to them that way, or option 2 = we simply hope the matter will go away. Option 3 is to employ consultants that you know will agree with your initial hypotheses and then when they report back you can claim your original policy has been vindicated.
posted by michael the tubthumper @ 4:32 pm  
9 Comments:
  • At 5:03 pm, Blogger JOS said…

    Here's one we hearing here after Scooter's indictment:

    We are very saddened by this announcement.

    translation:

    We're sorry you caught us this time. But don't worry, there's plenty more where that came from.

    Another excellent post, Michael. Cheers... or is that something only a Brit would say?

     
  • At 5:18 pm, Blogger michael the tubthumper said…

    thanks.

    as for cheers - i use that word way too much!

     
  • At 7:10 pm, Blogger mikevotes said…

    Let me add a recent one from the bush admin:

    "I don't pay attention to the polls" -

    I've made so many bad decisions that one more can't make people dislike me anymore. So, here's a giveaway to one of my big contributors.

     
  • At 7:42 pm, Anonymous Mickey Z. said…

    Michael, I would send this as an article to Counterpunch, etc. Great stuff.

     
  • At 9:40 pm, Blogger Mudge the Expendable said…

    Like this one a lot! I agree with the august Mr. Z, submit this around.

     
  • At 2:03 am, Blogger mikevotes said…

    Yeah, I submitted something to counterpunch 18 months ago, and they put it up. A little dated, but I think it still stands up. If you want to, just send it in to them and put a legalese disclaimer saying that they have rights to reproduce and use it. If they like it, they'll publish it, otherwise not. No big deal if you won't feel unloved if they don't. Probably won't make the magazine, but after mine went up on the website, I was happy for a week. I felt like I had done something.

    Here it is. By the way, the email at the bottom is now dead.

    http://www.counterpunch.org/legro03052004.html

     
  • At 3:13 am, Blogger michael the tubthumper said…

    i appreciate evrything dudes but i have an exceptionally low giving a fuck threshold.

    mickey - email and submit for me if u feel the need. i would b happy for that.

     
  • At 3:17 am, Blogger michael the tubthumper said…

    i know that those two point r juxtapositional

     
  • At 10:01 pm, Anonymous Mickey Z. said…

    Sorry I'm so late in replying. (I wish you had an option here to receive an e-mail when someone has posted.) If I had time, Michael, I'd be submitting articles, essays, etc. for lots of people. I think we need as many voices as possible being heard.

     
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What is Tubthumping and who is doing it?

Name: michael the tubthumper
Home: Glasgow, Scotland
About Me: Tub-Thumper - 1. A speaker or preacher who for emphasis thumps the pulpit; a violent or declamatory preacher or orator; a ranter. This blog will be a combination of reasoned posting somedays and an occasional rant. 28 years old, I write and research for a couple of websites and also do my own stuff.
See my complete profile

Thumping The Tub Video

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I have made a few short movies. Here are links to free downloads for them all in the order that I made them (as far as I can remember). Please feel free to use, distribute, disagree with, shout at etc etc

  • Praise The Lord and Pass The Ammunition
  • This was a REAL song from World War 2. I was so stunned by it I had to make a movie

  • How Far Is It From Here to Nuremberg
  • This is my attempt at a video for the excellent, if worrying, David Rovics (see links) song

  • What You Like
  • I believe the word for this is "splenetic". Only 20 seconds long.

  • Imperial Measures
  • What is going on in Iraq? Some things you knew, some you didn't. A couple of bits of info are out of date now.

  • Wish You Were Here
  • Wish You Were Here is a 6 minute film about the unprecendted rate of animal extinction we are currently experiencing

  • Gorillas and us
  • I don't like creationism, neither did Douglas Adams

    Recent Thumping
    Older Thumping
    Links

  • spinwatch
  • adbusters
  • internet archive
  • art not oil
  • blairwatch
  • bushflash
  • camcorder guerillas
  • corporate watch
  • campaign for press freedom
  • noam chomsky
  • common dreams
  • counterpunch
  • cost of war
  • david rovics
  • democracy now
  • dissident voice
  • the dossier
  • downing street says
  • etims
  • robert fisk
  • food not bombs
  • global research
  • gmwatch
  • impeach blair
  • indybay video
  • killing hope
  • lobbywatch
  • mediachannel
  • medialens
  • mickey z
  • mixed up records
  • george monbiot
  • mark thomas
  • john pilger
  • radio 4 all
  • schnews
  • snow shoe films
  • sourcewatch
  • tom englehardt
  • ukwatch
  • video activist network
  • howard zinn
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    some of the blogs I look at
    Arse of the month

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    The inaugural 'Arse of the month' award goes to our very own Scottish First Minister Jack (Joke) McConnell. He seems to spend a lot of his time sucking up to english politicians and yet it appears they don't even know his name. Follow the link to see..

    NODOBY KNOWS ME
    It's All Gone Scottish

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    A list of some other Scottish sites and blogs most of which, if not all, are pro-independence. I don't agree with content on all of them obviously. Some are Scots at home, others abroad.

  • The Scottish Patient
  • Kim Ayres
  • Our Scotland
  • average tosser
  • 1820
  • big stick small carrot
  • J. Arthur MacNumpty
  • World of Jack McConnell
  • The Firefox Chronicles
  • Independence 1st
  • Radio Free Scotland
  • Scots and independent
  • Scottish Independence Guide
  • TCOAW
  • Small Nation
  • Inveresk Street Ingrate
  • Radical Glasgow
  • Want to Swot?

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    If you like this site and think it is time to start getting informed here are a few real favourites of mine that will help you blow away the corporate and government propaganda you are constantly bombarded with. It is added to every so often.

  • politics and the english language
  • Beyond Hope
  • the gore exception
  • your tax dollars at work
  • a cultural chernobyl
  • choose life (not trainspotting)
  • shooting an elephant
  • a war crime within a war crime...
  • the menace of liberal scholarship
  • the modern era of law
  • naming the problem
  • the four ages of sand
  • a news revolution has begun
  • come september
  • money is the cause of poverty
  • countering corporate power
  • Other Stuff

    Who links to me?

    For a DotSCOT Domain!

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